My name is Rebecca, and I write to you from Salt Lake City, Utah, USA. I come to this Portal because I too journey toward wholeness, and I’m happy to share a bit of that journey with you today. If you’d like more background on me, feel free to check out the archive of the October 2008 newsletter.

A few months ago, I received something of a spiritual lesson from an unexpected source. I and the weight loss organization of which I am a part entered a dialogue about how both we and others benefit when we lose weight. It all started with a community service project to donate food to those in need – one pound of food donated for every one pound of body weight we members lost. We hoped to move people at both extremes of the eating spectrum toward a healthier, more moderate intake of food.

As we talked more about how we and others could gain from our losses, it became clear to me that the question we were asking was really much broader. We were exploring how taking care of ourselves might impact those around us. As a recovering co-dependent (a take-care-of-everybody-and-everything woman), this idea was not new to me.

Most of us have heard that we need to love, accept, and care for ourselves in order to refuel and therefore be able to love, accept, and care for others. Though I had heard this more than once, I had never really thought through it. I had always just nodded my head, thought I “should” take better care of myself, and then gotten back to taking care of everyone else while feeling guilty about yet another undone “should.”

But this time, the idea stuck. I got serious, and I committed to really thinking about the relationship between how I cared for myself and the impacts I made on the world around me. I started by considering how I care for myself and contrasting that with how I care for others, and it led me to a surprising discovery.

I housesit for animals while their owners are travelling. I enjoy this job, and I believe it is important to actually care for the animal – not simply to put out food. Each day in multi-animal homes, I am careful to make sure each animal gets adequate food and clean water, petting and grooming, exercise and play, needed medications, a clean bathroom area, interaction with the other animals, and one-on-one time with me. This commitment often takes an hour or two of my day, and I do it willingly because I believe these animals are sentient creatures with physical, emotional, social, and energetic needs. But when I thought about how little time I devote to my own needs, I began to wonder: Aren’t I an animal (a sentient being with needs) too? What would it be like for me to respect and care for my own needs as much as I do the needs of people’s pets?

Now, this was a bit shocking and painful to put into perspective, but it was also quite motivating. Maybe I could love and honor my own animal body and my own diversity of needs and desires. Maybe that would be good for me; maybe that would be good for others. In fact, maybe that is my primary job on this planet – to take care of what is actually mine – my body, my mind, my psyche and spirit. Maybe, but I wasn’t sure.

So, I asked myself some hard questions, questions I was surprised to realize I had a good deal of resistance against answering. I started small, but like ripples in a pond, I could start to see how the effects of my actions toward myself reach out and touch those seemingly far from me.

I asked myself: What’s in it for me to take care of myself? How do the people I live with benefit when I take care of myself? What will my family and friends gain when I prioritize taking care of me? How will caring for myself impact my employer and co-workers? How will the organizations I’m a part of benefit from my taking care of myself? What will my local community gain when I take care of myself, when I meet my most basic animal needs? What will my nation gain? The world?

My uncomfortable answers to these questions surprised me with an awesome sense of responsibility – to care for myself, not just for my sake, but for the good of my broader community as well. I saw for the first time that taking care of me was the single most important thing I could do in this life.

I started to wonder about all the other “important” things I prioritize above this one task. I wondered about all the care and joy and good I like to think I bring to the world by “doing” for others, and I started to imagine an energetic equation in my life that kept coming out to zero. I saw that for every bit of good I brought to someone else (which contributed to the positive “enough” energy in the universe), I also created an equal part “lack” (exhaustion or sacrifice which detracted from that same universal energy pool). I was spinning my wheels trying to “fix” all sorts of “problems” that weren’t mine to heal – meanwhile ignoring the stuff that is mine.

I came to see I am simply more valuable to this world’s energy set when I am feeling good - that is well-rested, physically fit, nourished with healthy food and relationships, and prioritizing fun in my life. It is taking care of myself in all these ways that is my primary role in the cosmos. This taking care of self is more energetically useful (contributing more positive energy to the world) than emissions-free commuting, guilt-motivated donating, or sick and saddened mourning over various injustices in this world.

This is not to say I want to bury my head in the sand or that I no longer care about the problems we have created in this world. This is not about arrogance or self-centered indulgence. This is about helping positive energy grow exponentially instead of often coming back to that zero equation I mentioned earlier. When I make a “right” or “good” action because of guilt or fear or "should," the positive impact of my act is limited by the negativity of its origin. When I take care of myself, feel good and content, and live in joy, I contribute enormously to the positive, life-affirming energy of this world. When, on top of taking care of myself, I also make a “right/good” action in support of my favorite cause, its impact is cleaner and more powerful because my action comes from the love, joy, and “enough” I can only have by taking care of myself. Then, my energetic contribution can stay wholly in the positive. And this is the icing on the take-care-of-myself cake.

And that brings us back to you and why you are reading these thoughts of mine. You have come to the Portal for a reason. You seek to heal yourself, to take care of yourself. Good on you! Do it. Take care of yourself with the dignity and enthusiasm this act deserves. Ours is a sacred journey and an honorable path with lasting benefits beyond the scope of any single individual.

But, don't take my word for it. Ask yourself – seriously...quietly...patiently....openly: "What will be gained when I take care of myself?"

Blessings upon us all as we find out,

Rebecca

In this article EFT Practitioner Marian Mills shows us how trauma impacts us physically and emotionally and guides us to some EFT techniques to use for healing.  If you would like to contact Marian, visit her website at http://www.thestillpoint.co.uk/

Stress is widely accredited with being the prime suspect in the development of disease, whether this is seen as mainly emotional as in depression and anxiety disorder, or physical such as with cancer or autoimmune conditions. But what causes the stress?  Why are we finding it so hard to adapt to our way of living, or to give it up and live stress-free lives? The answer is trauma – both big ‘T’ and little ‘t’ traumas – which have a dramatic impact on our mind and body’s ability to adapt.

There is a health concept called homeostasis, which means the state of natural bodily cycles, from arousal to passivity and back again. Recent research into the effects of trauma has shown that this homeostatic balance can easily be disrupted and the swings become greater between the peaks of arousal and the troughs of passivity. Each extremity of this increased swing has a different effect on the body and mind. In peak arousal, when the sympathetic nervous system is activated, the adrenal glands are operational, cortisol may flood the bloodstream, the parts of the brain designed to detect and recognize threat are hyperactive, heart rate is raised and the mouth goes dry. This is what we commonly call the “fight or flight” response. Symptoms that arise from prolonged exposure to this state of being are often anxiety, panic disorder, high blood pressure, insomnia, phobias, diarrhea and sickness.

At the other end of the spectrum, we experience the “freeze” response. Although less well known, this also has its origins in our survival instincts. When a creature goes into freeze response it is flooded with endorphins which block pain – useful if you are about to be killed or eaten. Most mammals then shake this off and go into fight or flight, whereas in humans, we have suppressed this natural release mechanism.  In this state, where the parasympathetic nervous system is overly activated over time, we see the development of symptoms of fatigue, dissociation, indigestion and gut disorders such as IBS, and accompanying dulling of mental activities.

Robert Scaer^[1] believes that 100% of the population has been traumatized at some point and he defines trauma as a perceived life threat whilst feeling helpless. How do we achieve this and why don’t we recognize it?

Trauma begins either before or at our birth. Natural birth facilitates bonding in those precious moments after birth where both mother and baby are flooded with oxytocin. That bonding has a significant impact on the baby’s brain development, because it stimulates the part of the brain that regulates the emotional brain and the autonomic brain and results in a well-adjusted child able to unconsciously control excessive swings of neurological activity.

The development of the bond between mother and newborn baby is critical and creates more resiliency than any other factor which in turn predisposes the individual to more healthy responses to future traumas.

Most babies born in the west in the past 150 years have experienced a significant disruption to that bonding process, whether through the use of anesthesia, surgical intervention or forced separation from the mother for medical reasons. This creates disruption in the brain which can last for the remainder of the individual’s life. It also leaves the individual more vulnerable to further trauma. This has made a huge impact on the neurological stability of the population and on its own could well account for the majority of dis-ease that we see so prevalent in the West.

Almost all of us have some ongoing disruption in the part of our brain that assesses threat levels (amygdala) and this means that even low-grade threats become viewed as threats to our very survival. The way the brain is regulated also means that social activity can only take place when we feel sufficiently safe to engage with others. We see this in the obstructive and defiant responses from teenagers often portrayed in the media. But socialization also dampens the activity of the amygdala, so making us feel safer. If we look at how our communities have broken down and with them, our opportunities for casual social interactions, we see that all too many of us can go through weeks without the social activities that used to be taken for granted. It is not surprising therefore that many people suffering anxiety and depression, or cancer, MS, ME, AIDS and other ailments can become very isolated.

Although EFT can be used as a self-healing technique, the socialization affect on the brain might account for the reason that many people find that they can heal better with the aid of a therapist. They have a relationship with that person which creates feelings of safety and security that they do not have elsewhere in their life. 

Studies have revealed that there is a clear link between our early experiences of trauma and later development of life-threatening disease. This is not, however, currently well known in medical literature, only in behavioural studies. EFT practitioners are finding this to be true in their work and every day more reports flood into Gary Craig of healing physical and emotional pain through trauma release.

EFT can enable healing for traumas that have been held in the body for any length of time. This diminishes the effects on the physical and mental systems and allows a return to homeostasis. Whether dis-ease and illness is already present or symptoms of past traumas are evident, the use of EFT can greatly enhance the body’s resiliency capacity. No longer does the ‘freeze’ response have to be the only response to a small ‘t’ trauma.

If you are suffering with symptoms of past traumas, whether that is physical illness or mental and emotional dis-harmony, here are some pointers for you

• The Tearless Trauma Technique, which isn’t actually as “tearless” as it suggests but does dramatically reduce the risks of re-traumatization compared with other therapies.
• Matrix Reimprinting and ECHOs are useful techniques to investigate.  (See Introduction to Matrix Reimprinting)
• Work with a practitioner who specializes in Inner Child healing.
• It is important to treat yourself kindly and gently when working through trauma. Take time out to relax, take walks in the countryside, meditate or follow guided visualization, eat well and drink plenty of water.
• You will need to be persistent and patient. Take your time because the end result will be worth it. Healing trauma can be like coaxing a frightened rescue animal out of the corner of the room where it is cowering and getting it to trust you.

If you would like to, you can read case studies showing examples of some of the concepts in this document as follows:

Importance of Healing with the Aid of a Therapist  by Gillian Wightman

Fear Originating from Birth Trauma by Jo Hainsworth

^[1]Resources for Dr. Robert Scaer

Videos http://www.consciousmedianetwork.com/members/rscaer.htm