Self Healing Portal

There was a link posted in one of the other forums that lead to inner child work and it has proven to be a gold mine for me. Things that I've carried around my whole life, and never understood why, are coming into focus and resolving faster now than at any other time since I've been using EFT. My poor inner child was a basket case when I first started, but I'm happy to report that he's coming along and healing quite nicely :O)

Jef wrote to me that he has never resolved so many things in such a short time and that it absolutely blows him away. He believes that everyone should start with the child first and watch as behaviours and traits vanish before their eyes.

Here are the articles for the month (please note that we have changed the layout of this newsletter to make it easier to read, you can scroll down to read through all the articles sequentially, or click on the heading of the article to jump to a specific one.):

Chim is a very dedicated self helper who has been using EFT for a while now. Like many people when she initially heard about the concept of talking to inner children or inner parts, she was a little put off. In this article Chim writes about what happened when she started to use inner child healing, and she gives some great tips on how to get started and some of the really important guidelines to bear in mind. Many thanks to Chim for generously sharing her experience and what she has learnt along the way.

In this article long time EFT practitioner Betty Moore-Hafter shares insight into how healing it can be to be in touch with the hurting younger parts inside us. Betty writes about the key things she has found make a big difference to inner child healing. Many thanks to Betty for taking the time to share her thoughts on inner child healing with us.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with all the methods and different approaches to healing and lose sight of the power of the most simple concepts. This short article gives idea on how we can let go of needing to fix everything and simply discover the power from truly listening to the hurting parts inside us.

Some people hear about the concept of talking with their inner child but feel it just won’t be possible for them. This article shows an example of how this sort of healing can unfold and gives some simple tips on how you can access those hurting younger selves inside you that need to be heard.

This article discusses a recent experience I had that really taught me the power of taking the time to stop and acknowledge how a hurting part inside is feeling. This experience taught me that thinking that I’m too busy to address issues when they arise is seriously damaging my relationship with the hurting parts inside, and how it only takes a few moments to acknowledge what is hurting inside.

This article is a write up of a recent session that I did, designed to give some insight into how powerful this sort of approach to our healing can be. I know that some people are quite uncomfortable with the idea of inner child healing, so this article has also been written with the intention of demonstrating how this work is a simple and powerful way to uncover specific events to tap on.

I am a consistent user of EFT, and work with the technique at least 15 minutes everyday. For a few weeks, however, I had been struggling with a mild feeling of anxiety, which I had tried to tap out with little success. The feeling would be strongest in the morning, and would lessen during the day, as I became distracted with the tasks of daily living. Every time I had a moment on my own, however, the feeling would creep up on me again.

I tried tapping on the feeling from a number of different angles, using techniques that had worked brilliantly for me in the past. For some reason, however, I was not able to permanently remove the anxiety. I might have been able to shift it temporarily for a few hours, but it never went away completely. Furthermore, even after all the tapping, I was no closer to understanding what the anxiety was all about, or what its purpose was. I had a vague sense of the anxiety (or rather, the part holding the anxiety) being somewhere inside me, and could certainly feel its presence, but it always managed to stay just out of my grasp – even while tapping.

I had known about Inner Child healing for a while at this point, and while the concept and rationale made sense, I was extremely reluctant to try it. There were a number of reasons for this. It seemed fairly complex to me, and I didn’t think I’d really have much success trying to get in contact with a younger version of myself. Furthermore, considering myself a rational, logical person, I honestly perceived this technique as mystical and bizarre. Lastly, I had heard stories of people who had discovered hidden traumas during Inner Child work (both with and without the use of EFT), and I certainly didn’t feel comfortable knowing this, seeing as I was relatively inexperienced, and working on my own.

I finally got to the point where I really needed to try something different, because the anxiety, while not severe, was starting to affect my life, and people were beginning to notice. After doing a bit of Internet browsing, and finding EFT practitioner Cathryn Taylor’s Youtube page, I decided it may be a good idea to consider Inner Child healing. I watched a few of Cathryn’s videos; her approach seemed simple, logical, and non-judgemental. I decided to try the technique on my own, being careful to follow those three principles. Here is my version of the steps, as well as what I experienced at each one:

1. Identify the problem, and use a simple, concise tapping phrase to describe it. I tapped along the following theme: “Even though there’s this part of me that feels so anxious right now, I am completely accepting of it. Even though there’s this part that perhaps feels unsafe and insecure right now, I love and accept it completely.”

2. Encourage the hurting part to interact with you. Talk to the hurting part as if in a conversation with it, even if you are unable to conceptualise it at this point. My tapping went something as follows: “Even though we’ve never communicated in this way before, I’d love to hear how things are for you. Even though you’re feeling so anxious, I want you to know that I accept you completely, and I’m here if you have anything you’d like to say.”

3. By this point, you should probably have some representation of an inner child, or at least some identity (be open minded - your inner child may not necessarily be represented visually). Once you have it, relax, and treat it just like a friend. Greet it, talk to it, and ask it what the problem is. Remember to keep tapping either on yourself, or visualise tapping on the inner child (this approach is borrowed from Matrix Reimprinting), as you do so. You may now also be able to get a sense of the negative emotion coming from the inner child, rather than coming from the real you. This is an important realisation.

4. Keep tapping and talking to the inner child, for as long as it takes to resolve the issue. By talking to my inner child, which was a three-year-old version of myself, I discovered that I had watched something on television that had triggered the anxiety. I found out the anxiety was about feeling abandoned, and ignored. My three-year-old self had experienced being ignored completely by my mother on one occasion, and during this time, played with a knife, and cut itself very badly. All I needed to do was tap while listening to the inner child, and reassure it. With continued rounds, the inner child felt safe enough to release its fear.

I apologise for the relatively brief, under-detailed account of what I experienced; I still don’t completely understand what happened, and I shall probably forget more of the details as time passes. However, I certainly experienced a great feeling of release during the session, and the anxiety has not returned. Since then, I have experimented a few times with Inner Child Healing, and have had varying degrees of success. Admittedly, I have a lot more to learn about this technique, but nonetheless, here is a list of tips for the beginner, by a beginner:

1. Try not to be judgemental. If you are angry with, or frustrated at, the inner child that holds these fears, acknowledge and clear these feelings before you proceed with any Inner Child work. Trying to work with the inner child while hiding your contempt or frustration doesn’t work; I’ve tried it.

2. Don’t try to rush things along. If you’ve only got time to do five minutes of tapping, perhaps you should save Inner Child work for another time – hopefully when you’re able to give this prolonged, undivided, attention. Above all, the inner child needs to feel listened to and accepted, and it certainly won’t feel that way if you’re trying to hurry up the healing process. I recently had an experience where an inner child completely stopped communicating, because I was, in essence, forcing it to change fast.

3. Be open to the possibility that a resolution may take place, but not in the way you had predicted – don’t look for a specific outcome. I’ve found that the inner child always finds its own solutions, and reaches its own emotional balance; trying to force anything on it probably won’t work. It sounds too simple, but all you need to do is to be present, to listen, and to tap. Offer some gentle reframes on the situation if you prefer, but remember not to be forceful.

4. Don’t take things too seriously. Remember that your role is that of a helper more than anything, and that it is not you, but inner parts of yourself, that are experiencing the hurt. I have consistently found that I get nowhere when I get caught up in the pain that the inner child experiences.

It was about 18 years ago that I had a very significant dream. In the dream, I walked into a room and saw a girl maybe 10 years old, naked, huddled, alone. I didn't know what to do and walked out. I came back into the room and saw the girl again, but I walked out again. Finally, the third time I came in, I realized that it was up to me to take care of this girl. I wrapped a beautiful, many-colored quilt around her and gave her something to eat. I was going to take care of her now.

This dream came at a time in my life when I was finally setting boundaries in some of my relationships. I even ended a friendship with someone who continually violated my boundaries. My subconscious so beautifully reflected that I was finally -- finally -- paying attention to the vulnerable part of me and giving her care and protection. What a beautiful metaphor for inner child healing this is. And how interesting to revisit this dream now, at a time when so much of my work is about helping people heal the inner child. I had not thought of that dream in years but while looking for in my old journals for something else, I came across it a few days ago. It struck me how much the subconscious is always far ahead of us. That dream came to me six years before I even entered the field of the healing arts. Now I see how all of that became the foundation for the healing work I offer people today.

Most of us have some neglected and unhealed parts of ourselves inside. They can drive unwanted behaviors and are the source of a lot of our pain. What a difference it can make to become conscious of these young aspects of ourselves. It often happens in an EFT session with the simple question -- "What does this remind you of?" Feeling upset because the boss criticized us may lead to the times our father said, "You'll never amount to anything." Feeling self-conscious about public speaking may have its roots in being laughed at while presenting in school. Our young self is still holding all these feelings.

We have opportunities like never before to reach those young parts of ourselves and bring healing to them. EFT works wonderfully to give the child parts of us the help they never had. My own work involves using the imagination to create a healing space, invite in the young self, and then tap to bring relief and healing. Then we use the imagination again to give the young self something he or she needs. Why do I believe that the imagination is such an important part of the process? Because when we shift into the imaginative mind, we're connecting with the deeper feelings. The imagination is a bridge into the subconscious, the emotions and the body levels. When we enter this "inner theater," we can have a direct experience rather than simply talking about the problem.

For anyone who would like to experience this process, I offer my Secrets of Inner Child Healing with EFT free teleclasses every six weeks or so. The schedule can be found at www.CreativeEFT.com/teleclasses.

My dream of so long ago marked a turning point for me, I believe. At the time, I was reading Alice Miller's work, which honors how much each child needs "respect, understanding and being taken seriously." It was the first time I was taking seriously the impact my childhood had had on me. As my subconscious expressed it so clearly, I began a relationship with this part of me. Rather than walking right past her, I finally noticed this neglected part of myself and began to take care of her.

To this day, I tell people that the main thing we're doing with inner child healing is developing a relationship. Coming to know the child within, listening to her feelings, helping him with tapping -- these are all ways to give our young self the respect, understanding and attention that he or she never got. The simplest tapping of all can be very healing: "Even though my young self is hurting, I love and accept her deeply and completely... and I accept all her feelings without judgment." Try it!

There are so many different methods out there that we can use on our healing paths, that it can become confusing to know where to turn next at times. As with most things in life, I’ve found that keeping it simple is the key to continuing on our healing journey. While methods are very supportive on our healing journey, it is my belief that they are all simply enablers for us to hear the internal messages that our symptoms and unwanted behaviours have for us.

Something powerful that I’ve learnt in the last few months is that when we do EFT or use another method to heal a long standing issue, we are not really the one we are healing. While this may sound strange to many, what I’ve learnt is that we are the healer working with the fragments of ourselves that are still stuck in the past, hurting and in pain. Whenever we are acting out or feeling emotional in a way that is out of proportion to our current life circumstances, we can see it as a call from one of our fragmented selves that need some attention. We can stop, take a breath, and ask “Who inside me needs my attention now?”

With my own healing journey I've discovered that the more that I can hold a space of compassion and witness the hurt of my younger selves, the less they act out their pain in my life. I've found that if I can use the wonderful tools I have access to, to help me to really stay present and LISTEN to what they have to say, without intention of changing their point of view and solely with the intention to help them to feel better, magic happens. If I can let go of the need to “fix things” and instead simply truly listen, I feel an understanding developing inside that no amount of fixing would have led to.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by how to use a particular method, or which method to use, I suggest you stop and take a few deep breaths, and contemplate the idea that all methods are simply tools to enable you to do one thing. And that one thing is to learn how to hold a healing space for the parts of you inside that are hurting and in pain.

When we can truly hear the anger and hurt inside, we don’t find ourselves needing to express it through our attitude or behaviour "out there". When we are able to really listen to that pain, we find it magically dissolves and turns into love.

There are so many ways that we can do this, and the only real guide as to which methods are best for you is how they feel for you. Here is a list of a few methods that might be supportive on your journey of learning how to hold that healing space for those parts inside:

Focusing – A simple body based method that enables you to get in touch with the body felt sense of what is going on for you.

Matrix Reimprinting – A variation of EFT developed by Karl Dawson which uses the EFT Movie Technique as a basis for listening to the hurting parts inside.

Note: This article includes use of inner child healing, and I know that some people are quite uncomfortable with the concept of working with the inner child - it just seems too weird or suggests that we have a mental illness because we have one part of us talking to another. I have found over the years that using the concept of the inner child is in fact very supportive. It is basically a way to separate from feelings that are too big to be able to process if we are caught up in them. The inner child is a metaphor for a part of us holding the emotions so that we can look at that part with our adult self and find a way to bring it kindness and compassion and help it to heal. When we are engulfed in an emotion, there is not the distance required to see it objectively and find the resources that we need to heal it. Using the metaphor of the inner child makes this much easier.

Having recently embarked on a more structured programme of healing with my inner child, I’ve found some different ways of accessing earlier memories and events that I can benefit from tapping on. This article addresses one way of working with the teenage energy inside us that has things to say that have for too long been unsaid.

One night I sat down to do some healing and just wasn’t sure how to get started. So I decided to sit at my computer and write a question, and see whether I could enter a “dialogue” via typing with my inner teenager (she was very proud of having been the only one in her class who learnt to touch type in a year, so I figured that she might be more interested in communicating via the keyboard!) I started by typing: Is there anyone inside who would like to write something you were never able to say to someone in our life?

What resulted from this simple question was amazing. 15 year old Joanne (as I was known as back then) was really angry at me for not listening to her and when she discovered through my replies in our dialogue that I wasn’t going to get angry back at her and simply wanted to listen, she had a lot to say. In the course of our written dialogue several specific memories came to mind that resulted in tears and us tapping together with EFT – memories long forgotten or tucked away in the back of my mind that I hadn’t ever thought about tapping on that in actual fact seemed to be very highly charged. Through the tapping I was able to address her questions of why things happened the way they did, or why someone responded to her in the way they did. Over the course of the session she went from a very angry teenager to one who really grew in understanding. Near the end of our time chatting and tapping together she started seeing specific events in a totally different light, and helped me to realise how I could see some events from a much wider perspective now.

If you feel that there is more healing to be done with your inner child but you are struggling to connect with him/her in your healing, consider thinking about how he or she might feel most comfortable communicating with you. Where I used typing because I felt my inner teenager was proud of her ability to type quickly, you might remember being really into drawing or some other form of expressing yourself as a teenager. When I am working with my toddler or young inner child I instead sit with some pencils and a specially chosen book (I took my inner child shopping one day and she chose a book very different to what I would have chosen!) that has no lines on the pages. I put a pencil in my left hand (I’m right handed) and that enables me to access my younger self – at the time where expressing myself through writing or drawing was more difficult. I never cease to be amazed by what I end up writing or drawing. Use something like this to enter a dialogue with your earlier self and you may find yourself discovering specific events that you can work on that you have long forgotten or not thought worthy of spending time on, or being able to answer questions that you longed to have answers to when you were a child but never did. This sort of work can be incredibly enriching and really helps to build a much better relationship with your earlier selves, paving the way for some wonderful healing.

If you decide to embark on some sort of dialogue with your inner child, it is important to develop skills that will enable you to truly hear what he or she is saying, without getting angry or stopping the flow once they start talking. Taking a little time to learn and practice Empathic Listening can be really helpful for all of our relationships – both those with other people in our lives and our relationship with our younger selves. For an excellent article on Empathic Listening, click here. Remember when you first start dialoguing with an inner child that they may have felt unheard for many years and it may take some seriously listening without interrupting on your part to help them establish enough trust in you to really tell you the core issues. Empathic listening, reflecting back the key content of what they are saying, can really assist this process.

If you are serious about learning more about communicating with the hurting parts inside you (and the people around you), I highly recommend “NonViolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall Rosenberg. You can read the first chapter of this book here. You can also download a free 35 page instruction guide on NVC from here. When we are having unresolved feelings from the past triggered it can be very difficult to remember to apply what we have learnt about communicating so I recommend using EFT or another method to clear the triggers to your communication issues as you learn a method like NVC, so that you can really apply what you are learning in your communication, both within yourself and with those around you. When confronted with an angry person in your life, or an angry inner teenager who is expressing him/herself for the first time in a long time, it’s much easier not to take things personally and get overwhelmed by what we are hearing if we have taken some time to build our communication skills. And I’ve found it works the other way too – as I listen more to my inner child and help her to understand that I can hear her and she can rely on me, she seems less likely to hijack me and have me act out and be triggered by someone else’s anger or hurt.

Sometimes feelings come up that are just too much to be able to process inside the busy lives that most of us are leading. This can result in us thinking that we just don’t have the time to stop and process and so just have to push on. I’ve found that doing this can be counterproductive and that these sort of feelings coming up can be a gateway to forming a much deeper allegiance with those places inside that are hurting.

I had an example of this in my own life recently. I’m in the process of reading and working through Cathryn Taylor’s The Inner Child Workbook. It is my intention to use the structure that Cathryn has in her workbook, together with the tools of EFT (in particular the variation called Matrix Reimprinting) and Focusing to heal the remaining issues from my childhood that continue to spill over into my current life. As I read the preface of the book, tears started coming to my eyes and I felt an overwhelming sadness well up. I found myself writing to a good friend that “I have found a lid coming off a deep well of sadness inside me”. I put down the book and realised it was time to get to work – not in terms of the inner child healing but the practical day to day things that need to be done with our housebuilding project.

As I went to start work, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with tiredness and my partner commented that perhaps it would be better to take some time out. I resolutely insisted that we needed to get on with the work, but then found myself in tears saying how tired I was. What was already clear to my partner (he has seen EFT and Focusing help me get to a place of clarity so quickly so many times in the past) finally became so obvious that I could see it too.

I went in and picked up my tappy buddy (Benji the soft toy dog) and started tapping. I was aware that I didn’t have time to deal with the issues right now, but that I needed to take the edge off. And as I did so, I found myself talking to the hurting parts inside me in a way that left them feeling heard and knowing that they had my attention. I learnt once again that we don’t have to resolve everything right now, that simply taking a few minutes to honour the pain that has been triggered inside can work wonders in terms of building a relationship with the hurting parts inside us, helping to gain their trust that we really do care and intend to help them heal, and enabling us to return to the clarity we need to go about our daily life.

Even though you are hurting so much and feeling so sad, I want you to know that I hear your pain and I am willing to do what it takes to be here for you, to support you through this and to help you to feel better.

Even though you have all these feelings inside you and you just don’t know what to do with them, I acknowledge how difficult this is for you and I let you know that all of your feelings are OK and I am hear to help you through this.

Even though we have this deep well of sadness inside us and it feels like the lid has been coming off after being on tight for so long, we can love and accept ourselves with kindness and compassion.

Even though I have this deep well of sadness inside me, I am wiling to do what it takes to let this go. I want to heal this and I want to be there for all the hurting parts inside me that have all these feelings and things to say. I am here for you all.

As I tapped it felt like a feeling of relief, “yes, she’s listening to us, she knows we are here, she can help us, she wants to help us.” It felt like instead of parenting myself in a way that said “Not now I’m too busy” to a crying child, I said instead “It doesn’t matter how busy I am, I will still take a few moments to connect with you and hear how things are for you.” The tears stopped and I moved incredibly quickly to clarity, ready to start the tasks of my day, knowing that all parts of me knew that more time would be found to process this in depth at a more appropriate time.

Inspired by Cathryn Taylor’s work I have recently been experimenting with her question “Who inside me got triggered?” Cathryn believes that when we react all out of proportion to the situation at hand that it suggests that unresolved pain from our past has been triggered. I have certainly found this to be the case in my experimentation with this question. This article is a write up of a recent session that I did, designed to give some insight into how powerful this sort of approach can be. I know that some people are quite uncomfortable with the idea of inner child healing, so this article has also been written with the intention of demonstrating how this work is a simple and powerful way to uncover specific events to tap on.

Inspired by the need to make some curtains for our new sleepout I recently decided to have another go at sewing. In the past I have successfully made a few things, but always with a lot of bad temper and swearing and generally negative emotions!!! This time I decided to spend a lot of time up front day dreaming about how fantastic the creations I make are going to be, and I was really inspired by the time I set up the old sewing machine that I borrowed from my neighbour.

My partner can attest to the fact that it is no exaggeration to say that within minutes of attempting my first big seam the atmosphere in the caravan became like one where there is a very stroppy teenager in the house. While I was aware that my behaviour was ridiculous and that the problems I was having getting the machine to sew properly did not warrant such a tantrum, I seemed powerless to stop stomping around, throwing the material down and declaring the whole venture a stupid disaster…

There was no question of me tapping at the time. I was FURIOUS and I was only interested in blasting the machine and anyone who dared suggest that I would master it in time (thank goodness my partner has witnessed my inner child tantrums before and was able to wipe the amused look off his face and find something to occupy himself well away from the van!)

That evening I had some time to myself and I decided to do some tapping. I had recently listened to an interview of Cathryn Taylor on inner child healing, and I decided to use her question “who inside me got triggered with this situation?” I started by using the generic tapping Cathryn suggested in the audio for the first layer (our adult self), but modified her words replacing “loss” with “fear” because that felt more appropriate:

ET I really feel great loss/fear today and it’s really difficult for me to experience this, I love myself enough to neutralise this and to get to the bottom of this fear.

ET I feel a great amount of loss/fear today and it’s very specific to my situation, I care enough about myself to begin to neutralise this fear so that I can get to the bottom of the loss.

ET I feel a lot of loss/fear today and my body is showing me the signs, I choose at this time to release what I can in my adult world so that I can be prepared to work with the deeper layers that may emerge.

While I understand that the structure Cathryn suggests is great for some people, in particular those who find it difficult to connect with their inner child, immediately on tapping the above I found myself tapping phrases speaking to directly to my inner child, so I decided to continue following that trail rather than to continue with the rest of Cathryn’s Seven Layer Process (if you would like to try using her process, she outlines it in the interview and I’ve included the basic language of each of the rest of the layers in a link at the end of this article for you to use as an outline for any tapping you want to do.)

ET something really triggered you today and you were so upset and I wasn’t very understanding because I was angry at your response, you are a wonderful kid and I love you very much.

ET something really upset you today and I didn’t take the time to listen to what was wrong, I’m sorry and I want you to know that I really want to know what happened for you and to be able help you to feel better.

I didn’t get past the setup statements before an image flashed into my mind of a specific event when I was a child. I was about 8 years old and as I remember it (which for this healing is all that is important – whether we remember events accurately or not, how our subconscious mind has recorded them is what we need to work with) I wanted to learn to play the piano. My mother said that I could only have lessons if I taught myself from a book she got me and proved that I would practice consistently for a couple of months first. I got out my inner child book that I write in and started writing down what my inner child was saying, and formed her statements into tapping statements. We tapped through the specific event and her sadness that my mother now spends time with my 8 year old niece teaching her to play and I had to teach myself. After we’d cleared most of the emotion with the tapping, I decided to try a statement that I learnt from Betty Moore-Hafter’s excellent free Creative Language with EFT teleclass – “the truth is.” I tapped and spoke to my inner child and said:

ET it WAS difficult for you, you are the most amazing kid and despite how difficult it was, the truth is that you learnt to play beautifully.

ET it WAS difficult for you, the truth is that your Grandma and Grandad loved your music and really enjoyed the tapes you made for them each Christmas and Mum really loved your music too and was so proud of your playing.

After tapping on this my inner child most poignantly kept saying “Why?” “Why didn’t Mum teach me like she is teaching my niece?” So I used the “truth is” statement again with:

ET this really hurt you and it may be difficult to understand this, Mum really thought she was doing something good for you. She wanted you to be able to be independent with your learning, she wanted you to have opportunities that she never had. She dreamt for you to be a success in the world and did everything that she could to help you become that success, because she loves you very much.

After this tapping I felt like something had really shifted and so I thanked my inner child and asked her how she was feeling. She said she was OK now and she drew a big happy face in the book. I then felt the energy change and became aware that my inner teenager had also been triggered with the sewing. As she tends to communicate more readily via the keyboard (she is very proud of her achievement of learning to touch type in a year!), I switched from my inner child book to the laptop.

What follows is directly from the typing that I did, the phrases in italics are those written by my inner teenager.

I’m angry that you are talking to her and not me. Why don’t you listen to me when I’m upset? Why do you have to listen to someone else to get ideas to talk to me? Why, why, why?!

I’m really sorry that I didn’t take the time to talk with you this afternoon. You are right, I knew you were hurting. But you know what, it’s difficult for me too. When you get so upset it’s really hard for me to think clearly and react from anything other than fear. Would you like to do some tapping on this together?

ET you were triggered big time this afternoon when I was sewing, you are a great young woman and I love you very much.

ET something made you really afraid when we were sewing this afternoon, I accept all of your feelings and invite you to let me know what made you so afraid.

ET I felt annoyed at your reaction and I didn’t stop to talk with you, I’m sorry, I really am. I’m doing the best I can and I know that sometimes that isn’t very good.

ET you really wanted to learn to sew and you really tried hard and yet you found it so difficult, you are a wonderful young woman and I love you very much.

ET you thought you couldn’t do it and you got so frustrated when it didn’t go right the first time you tried something, you are a wonderful young woman and I love you very much.

ET Dad threw his hands up and said “I can’t” and imitated me in such an awful way and it really hurt, I….

ET it wasn’t the kindest way to do it, Dad really wanted me to be successful and happy and he wanted to teach me not to think “I can’t”

ET Dad seems to have ingrained in me the very thing he was trying to prevent, I choose to know that he loves me very much and he was just trying to help me to get on in the world.

ET the way Dad did that sucked, I know that he did it out of love and to teach me.

I understand. It was difficult for Dad and he wanted me to have a better life. It still wasn’t nice but he never did it to hurt me.

Note: This is a transcript of Cathryn’s abbreviated process, as mentioned in the above article. For details on how to access all the information regarding his, see the last paragraph of the above article.

ET I really feel a great loss today and it’s really difficult for me to experience this, I love myself enough to neutralise this and to get to the bottom of this fear.

ET I feel a great amount of loss today and it’s very specific to my situation, I care enough about myself to begin to neutralise this fear so that I can get to the bottom of the loss.

ET I feel a lot of loss today and my body is showing me the signs, I choose at this time to release what I can in my adult world so that I can be prepared to work with the deeper layers that may emerge.

ET she feels a great deal of loss in response to this situation in my current life I care enough about myself and her to neutralise her pain so that together we can heal.

ET she feels really a lot of grief about this situation I am in tune enough with her to help her neutralise this pain so that together we can heal.

ET this part of me really got triggered in response to this situation and she feels so much loss I love myself and her enough to begin to neutralise it so together we can heal.

Take a moment to think of the part of you. Ask “who inside got triggered?” Let that part of you know that you are now going to be working on their behalf.

ET you got really triggered and so much loss came up for you I am here to help you heal and I love you and myself enough to neutralise your pain so we can both move forward.

ET you experienced great loss I love you and I’m willing to tap on your behalf.

ET you really got triggered I’m going to help you heal because I love us both enough to neutralise away your fear.

I – Back to the original loss that the inner child felt – that was triggered by whatever happened in our current life

ET I got really triggered in response to this situation I really have come to trust my adult self and I’m willing to give this a try. X3

Take a moment to focus on where your body may have held that pain. Address your body – come into partnership with your body and give your body permission to release.